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TITLE: All Appropriate Action
AUTHOR: Ainigma (ainigma @
ORIGINAL STORY: War Cries, Blaze of Glory, The Whole Fucking Lot, Part One and Part Two by Algernonthemous
PAIRING: Elijah/Orlando/Dom/Viggo
SUMMARY: Can you ambush someone who knows you're there? What happens if you stay in unknown territory?
NOTES: In military terms, "all appropriate action" means action taken in self-defense that is reasonable in intensity, duration, and magnitude, based on all the facts known to the commander at the time.

DISCLAIMER: The author makes no claims or inferences to reality or truthfulness. Moreover, this story is based upon the work of another author and recognises their creation.

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Just what I need, someone's breaking in. And botching it. Must be the latest attempt to pull the best prank. Wouldn't be anything else, here. Could be entertaining, depending on what he's trying to do. Can't be anything bright. If they all know I can sleep with my door unlocked, how can they not know I'd have to be a light sleeper? Stupid. And he's not who woke me up. I could stay here and pretend to be asleep. Yeah, do that. Let him think he's getting away with it, see what he's up to.

Oh, it's Lij. Fucking bumping into something. Has to be. If he trashes any of my shit, he's dead. OK, so take whatever it is and get out. Must be drunk off his ass. Watch him piss in my fridge or something.

He's got something with him because he's opening it. Something with a zipper. He's... yeah, he's outside the door. What the fuck does he want in here? Feeling the wall. Damn it, there's not enough light from the bathroom, I can't see.

He's going the wrong way, and he's laughing now, the little bastard, and trying to shut up. Someone's smacked him. But that isn't... Wait, are there two of them? Oh, fuck me. Might be Billy. Watching out for Lij, 'cause he probably couldn't talk him out of it.

Where'd they go? OK, the office. And a shadow from the bathroom, so, any second now, that means—


No, I'm sleeping. Keep going.

There he goes. Into the office. Put the light on. Thank you.

"What are you two doing here?"

Dom. Such a good watchdog.

No answer. They can't have expected him. Probably want to ask him the same thing.

"We're here to kidnap Viggo. War cries, blaze of glory, the whole fucking lot. We were going to be famous."

The fuck?! Lij, are you out of your fucking mind?!


Who was that?

"Ow! Fucker! Stop... Fucking... Hitting Me!"

Whoever-it-is has to be beating Lij, 'cause I don't think that's Dom doing it. He'd be giving him shit at the same time. Little rough for Billy, but it could be, for getting them caught.

"What are you doing here?"

Christ, it's Orli! Yeah, of course. 'Course it's those two. Neither one can hold their drink worth a shit. Can't say that about Billy. And Billy'd think of something smarter than this. Fucking going to kidnap me!

"Tuesdays, Thursdays, twice on Sundays."

Jesus, Dom, tell them all about it. Wish I could see their faces.

"With Viggo?"

No, Lij. With Ian. In my house.

"No. With John. Yes, with Viggo. Who the fuck do you think?"


Could they crash around a little more? Must be getting Lij on his feet.

He's bringing them in here? I thought he'd throw their asses out. Even better. Let 'em have a good look.

Watch it, Lij'll trip and bust something. Get the light.



That they are. The watchdog's brought me a couple of foxes in the henhouse. If they know fuck all about hens.

Lij's got that smirk on his face. Go on, you've seen Dom half-naked before. Just probably not in pajama bottoms. And definitely not in my room. You think it's funny? No, you just don't know what to do with yourself. There you go, look at me. I know what to do with you. Little hotass. So much for your smug act.

You haven't seen Dom get in my bed before this, either. Now the bomb's dropped, we'll see how much you and Orli can take.

Dom's good with cues: c'mere. Right up against me. Mmhmm, he's going along with it. No wonder, since my hand's down his pants. Oh, he's into it, all right. You can count on him to get hard any time you feel him up. And quick. And that includes when the guys are watching. Good to know.

"Another hobbit? Frodo, no less, and an Elf." Delicious.

Orli's biting on his lip and Lij... Lij has a coil of rope?! That's what he brought. And don't tell me it's a hemp one. No, no, no, no. Who's the genius that picked that? You want nylon. Or cotton. That shit's going to abrade. And you were going to use it on me. Fat fucking chance. So check Lij out and, yeah, he's turning red. He does have an idea or two. Also good to know.

"War cry, blaze of glory."

What? Oh, their brilliant plan. OK, Dom, got it. 'Cause your hand's pushing mine down harder so you can rub against it better. I'll give you a fucking blaze of glory.

If Lij'd move that rope from in front of him, I could see if he's hard. He's gripping it tight enough, looks like he's trying not to press against it. He must be. Doesn't look all drunk and giggly now. Looks pretty damn serious.

And Orli... man, he's not even trying to hide his boner. How easy could this be? It's not going to take anything to pull him in. Which isn't a total shock. Just a jerk of my head and he's stripping off.

Now, Dom, you're pretty much there. Keep this up and you're gonna be coming all over our hands. Look at Lij, staring. Shit, is he ever trying not to grab himself. It's different when you watch, isn't it? So I've got an idea. Let's see if you'll do it.

You can let go of my hand any time. I know, it sucks to be stopped just before you come. Don't be a pussy about it, you're gonna get off on Frodo there. Go.

Hey, Orli. You couldn't see my dick before, with Dom in the way. You want this?


One of the few times Dom can't say much.

Orli takes up more room. Taller. But just as horny.

"Whoa. Just whoa a sec."

What, is Lij wussing out? I can't see, I have horny Elf in my face.

Nah, no problem. His clothes are half off. He's just nervous. Or shy. Nothing to worry about, Lij, you'll get into it.

So Orli here thought he could pull one over on me. I'm not even going to guess where he thought he was going to take me. Bet he didn't even know. Probably didn't think that far. You're not going to be thinking now, either. Not when I've got you under me. Time for a little correction. And I know just how I'm gonna give it to you.

"Elijah." Yeah, he's bare-assed now. Goddamn nice. First things first. "Bring me your rope, hobbit." Yes, your rope. That thing on the floor. What are you waiting for? "Frodo." Fucking do it. Now.

Thank you. You're lucky I'm not pulling you down right now, with him. Since it was your plan, too. But I think that'd be a little much for you. 'Course, you're not exactly running away. Kinda fascinating, huh? So why don't you just stay there next to the bed. Watch me tie Orli up to the bedpost. Watch me fuck the Elf.

Dom'll keep you company. Can't believe he hasn't jacked off on you yet. If the light was better, I could see if your dick's slicking up. Better not think about your cock now. Just get this on mine and focus on Orli.

Yeah, Orli. All tight-lipped and tense. Waiting. Quieter than I'd've thought. Have to change that. Keep twisting like that, it looks good. Twitching. You need attention. Spread you open and give it, right here, where you want it. Where I want it.

You're ready enough. And you're getting it without lube. Just my wet fingers. You can take it. Hardly even pushing back. So I've got something else for you.

"He's never..."

The fuck he hasn't. I don't know what lies he's told you, Lij, but he's had more up his ass than fingers. More than once.

Right? Yeah. Feel that.


Good, moan like that, I like it.

"Vig, slowly."

Do I tell you how to fuck, Dom? OK, I do, but not how to fuck someone else. Oh. Maybe you want it to take longer. You're liking the show. I'm good with that. Just keep holding Lij up, 'cause he looks like he's gonna hit the deck any second.

It's a good burn, isn't it, Orli? Burns like the rope. The rope you're pulling on. Every time you jerk up at me. Every. Fucking. Time.

"Christ. Jesus Christ, Vig."

I know. What a sight. Glad it turns you on so much to see me do him. You've only ever seen me do you.

He's almost there. Doesn't have the energy to hold off any more. I won't make you wait. A little harder, a little more that way and damn, that gets you groaning. Faster, push. Maybe you need my hand, but no, no, that's it. Man, you're loud when you come. Must be your what'd you call it? War cry. Not bad.

I think, yeah, I can just reach the rope from here. It's a little too thick, so it's not as hard to undo. Let him relax. Poor raw wrists. I knew that would happen. He's earned a few kisses on them.

And maybe one on his shoulder. While I smile up at Lij.

Who just snapped out of a trance and now he's thinking so hard, I can almost hear it. See if he figures it out. I'll turn a bit and... there he goes with the eyes. They're a dead giveaway. He's too off his guard to watch where he's looking. For all he knows, I'm the silent type, so he has to check. Find out if I'm still hard. I'll just roll the thing off, inside out, and throw it away and he knows I didn't come yet. And this is beautiful, it's dawning on him. The only reason I'd've taken it off without coming is because I need a clean one. And that means I'm going to fuck someone else. Think about that.

Dom's got to be thinking about Lij's prick, the way he's stroking it. Standing against his back. Must be rubbing his ass with his dick. Still can't believe he hasn't whacked off. But he wants his turn now.

Orli, you log, move the fuck over. Give them room. Damn cozy here.

Gotta give you credit, Dom. Kissing Lij first instead of going right for it.

They look nice, huh, Orli? 'Course, while I was busy with you, they had their chance alone. Now I'm in on it. Just a little. Just enough.

Yeah, Lij. Dom still knows my fingers down his back, even if he's on top of you. Gears you up, doesn't it? Makes you try harder. You can have a share, just don't kid yourself. And you better get him off soon or I will.

Good, jack him. Harder than that. OK, that's not really the way to do it, but he's so fucking cranked, it's not gonna matter.

"Lij, Lij, Lij, Lij."

See? Very touching.

I'll help out. Slide my hand between his legs. Up to his crack. Tease his hole.

That hits him. Gets his head up off you. And his leg around you so I can get my fingers in. Curl them.

"Stay with me."

Christ, he's not a fucking girl. And he doesn't have a clue what he's agreeing to right now, anyway. You could tell him to kill his mother and he'd be nodding. All he knows is he's coming. Hard and quiet, like always.

OK, that's all, Dom. Sack out.

This is where we've been heading. C'mere, Lij.

If you thought you and Dom kissed hard, try this. The only thing you're gonna taste now is me. Jesus. Fucking sweet mouth. More.

Damn, I wish I had time for all I could do. But this is already longer than I thought you'd hang on and I'm only gonna show Dom and Orli so much.

"Get up, hobbit, and fuck me." Yeah, you heard me. Up, on your knees. Here, take the packet.

I swear to God your hands are shaking. But then, so is your cock.

Come on, I'm split low right in front of you. Pushing back on you. Ass all ready for you. Go on. Go ahead. Good, take a hold, move me around, get me where you want me. Touch it to me, find where you're going.

Oh yeah. Shove it in. Not too smooth, but I can handle it.

That's it, that's it, that's it. Keep going. Not much rhythm. Do you always fuck like this? So what, I don't care. The only bad thing about this is I can't really get a good look at you, but I thought you'd be more comfortable this way. I can sort of catch you over my shoulder. Shit. So damn hot when you fuck. Give me your hand. I want that little hand of yours on my dick. Tight. Listen to you, sucking air, gasping.

"Come on, little one." I'll grip you 'til you can't take it. Come on. Come in me.

Now, yeah, do it, just like that. Such high grunts when you lose it. Love 'em. That's it, give me it, all of it.

Beautiful. Fucking beautiful.

Too bad I can't wait for you to come back down but I've gotta do this fast. Take you now, while you're still sloppy and loose. It'll be easier for you. Gotta slip off you, get the clean one you knew was coming, put it on. Get you in place.

Oh fuck, yes. Jesus, you're tight. I'll make it quick, no problem, but Christ, I could spend days in you. Fucking amazing.


Shit. Thanks. No, I get it. This is a lot for you, and he's familiar. That's his soft side, that's why he's kissing you. He thinks you can't take it. But you can.

Nothing to be scared about. You're fine. Doing fine.

"Stay with me."

He doesn't want to be left out and you're out of it enough to agree. But this is you and me. Just feel me, that's all.

You feel so good. Good. God, yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's it. Fuck. Fuck, I'm gonna fucking come...


I should be the one who has to recover, but it's the three of them who're still crashed out in there. Not that there was a lot of time to sleep. Or much room. Couldn't turn without smacking somebody. And Orli snores. Good thing he's quieter than when he gets laid.

They were something to look at. Sapped out. Oblivious. All crushed up together. Really something.

But I had to get up. Had to wake my legs up, watch the sun come up.

So which one's going to make it out here first? Smart money says, not Dom. He'd sleep 'til noon if you let him. He'll want to air the room out, but I like it. Good reminder.

Hope like hell no one's going to be freaked out. Dom'll be cool. I think. Orli and Lij, I don't know about. Orli should be OK.

Hey, someone's up. Coming out and... going in the office? Won't be Dom. Back this way and moving fast. Definitely not Dom.

It's Lij. Making a beeline for the door and no idea I'm right here.

"Leaving?" Whoa, why don't you just jump out of your skin?

Lij. What'd you think, I'd be gone?

Your eyes are going to bug out of your head. You don't know what to make of me. Or yourself. It's a lot harder to tell yourself you were taken advantage of when you did the fucking.

You can't even say anything, can only nod.

I didn't think I'd get you for a while yet. But you know, when you come knocking at my door—or sneaking through it—and then you don't run away, I'm not going to turn down my chance.

Clutching your backpack for dear life.

It's only a few hours since you were shooting your load in my ass. Too soon for you to process it but you won't forget and neither will I. It'll be a while before you come to terms with it. I'll be around. Waiting.

"Go, then." Mad dash and out.

'Bye, little hobbit. The next invasion's going to be one-on-one. Get ready.

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