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Disclaimer: This is a non-commercial, non-profit work of fiction under the names and likenesses of real individuals. This fictional story is not intended to imply that the events herein actually occurred, or that the attitudes or behaviors described are engaged or condoned by the persons whose names are used without permission.

Horror Show

Author: hermit9
Original Story: Control by sassywitch (Please do read this one first if you haven't already, it's quite good.)
Pairing: Billy/Elijah, Dom/Orlando
Rating: Adult
Summary: So three hobbits, an elf, and a couple of orcs walk into a bar...


Dom and Orlando have been none too subtly grinding against each other on the dance floor long enough to work up a light sweat. Orlando isn't too sure how the locals feel about gratuitous displays of gay, but it doesn't much matter because Lawrence and Sala love their castmates like brothers, and they're over at the bar well within desperate shouting distance should the need suddenly arise. So Orlando, and Dom too it seems, are feeling pretty good about being as affectionate as they want tonight.

"Hey." Dom tugs Orlando's tee-shirt and gestures behind him in the general direction of their table on the other side of the club. That's where Bill and Elijah have been wallflowering the whole night instead of enjoying the relative freedom afforded to those with very large friends. They don't have to flaunt it like he and Dom are doing, but Orlando has seen plenty of good-looking blokes; blokes that, if he weren't sort of here with Dom, he'd be chatting up. There's so many people on the dance floor and milling around the tables and booths, Orlando can only stare blearily where Dom had nodded, not seeing anything except masses of movement and color. Maybe he's referring to the dude in the white leather miniskirt dancing just next to them, but Orlando doubts that would be noteworthy to Dom. He's from from Manchester, after all.

"Looks like Bill and Lij have discovered a way of entertaining themselves," Dom leans in and screams in his ear.

"Oh?" Orlando says but there is no way Dom could have heard that above the thumping bass.

Dom takes Orlando by the hips and scoots them both through the crowd closer to the edge of the dance floor, and closer to the private little table in the dark. Orlando stops dancing and stares with astonishment at what looks like an installation exhibit of short mannequins posed in a dramatic moment. If Orlando were to name the exhibit it would be called, "Man Horrified by His Own Lack of Control Over His Penis." It's understandable. Elijah has a certain something to him, a certain innocence and naivete that makes him an object of sick fantasies for older gay men. (Ian has admitted as much, which Orlando finds quite a bit more disturbing than the thought of Billy having fantasies about that little eighteen year-old ass.) Billy is young at heart, but he does know how old he is relative to Elijah, which probably explains the look of terror plastered on his face.

Dom is guffawing next to Orlando, at Billy's expense, or maybe out of a little fleck of discomfort at seeing Elijah so bold and brazenly advertising his sexuality to the whole room. Oh the layers here in this moment. It's delicious. A cast full of gay men was bound to cause all sorts of tension and illicit phone calls and liaisons in dark corners of packed clubs. That's why only ten percent of men are gay in a random sample. Any more than that and things get way too complicated. Artificially or accidentally exceeding that percentage and you end up with what they have here, a multi-sided, multi-dimensional sex polygon.

Dom is of course a central point of that as he must be in all social situations. While Astin tends to mother Elijah, he doesn't set foot in clubs because he knows Dom and Orlando are going to make a show of things on the dance floor. That's just what they like to do, and Astin is the token straight hobbit unfortunately for him. Dom likes showing off, and Orlando likes watching (and feeling) Dom show off. So Dom, being second closest to Elijah, typically fills the void of protector for the young one when they're off the set. They're pretty close, Dom and Lij. The other part is that Dom is pretty close to Bill, too. They have spent countless hours in a tree together covered in latex. That kind of experience will bring any two people together even if they don't have remarkably similar silly personalities. Dom and Bill finish each other's sentences while the other burps, and will sleep cuddled together like tuckered out ferrets even though nothing more (Orlando assumes) has ever happened between them.

For a very gay cast they've been very conservative and mature with their illicit liaisons. Dom and Orlando have been fucking regularly, casually, but nobody else needs to concern themselves with that.

Elijah is licking at Billy's ear - or biting it? It's hard to tell from where they are, but the placement of his arm as it disappears below the table top is not at all ambiguous.

Dom is snickering still, and doubles over when Billy visibly flinches at Elijah's touch. "I wonder if he used the 'I know what I want,' line on him," Dom sighs.

"Do you think they're taking the piss?" Orlando asks him. Seems possible. Seems slightly more likely than the two of them given that Elijah, historically, only flirts with Orlando (tempting, flagrantly obvious sexual tantalization), Dom (silly and mostly done for the entertainment of others), and Bean (mild and occasional, but still horrifying to Bean being the token straight man.)

"I dunno. Bill looks pretty seriously ambivalent."

"Yeah, but uh..." Orlando casts him a look of doubt.

"Nah. Elijah gets horny when he gets drunk." That statement is almost a little green in Orlando's mind and reminds him that he is part of this hopelessly tangled web of homoeroticism, too. That must be why there are two sexes to begin with. Reduces the probable intersections to two or three persons at a time, or it would if there weren't so many poofs.

"Then shouldn't we perhaps interrupt them? Elijah's going to feel like a git in the morning."

"Maybe he will. If he does he won't do that again will he? And if he doesn't, then good for him."

"What about Bill?" Orlando chuckles. Bill's eyes are like saucers.

"Bill has wanted to get Lij in bed from day one."

"Who hasn't."

"True. So why not?"

Orlando thinks the logic in that piddled out somewhere but he can't figure out where. Truth is who are they to interfere? And what's the worst that will happen? Elijah will feel like a git, and Bill might feel like a dirty old man. Bill feels like a dirty old man perving on Orlando though, too. And he does. He has admitted after a few hours of steady drinking that he thinks it would be really hot to bend Orlando over a chair, but he's never made a move while sober. So the worst that might happen is a continuation of what they have now; sexual deadlock. Or Bill and Lij could hit it off and decide to have a Maori wedding ceremony on the beach complete with the grass skirts -

Elijah climbs onto Billy's lap and they are snogging rather enthusiastically.

"Um," Orlando says.

Dom laughs harder. "Okay, maybe we should stop them. They're both obviously trashed."

They move in a little closer, then skirt far around the two of them to get behind Billy. As they pass them Orlando can very clearly see Elijah's hand moving between them, Billy's jeans open and pink flesh peeking through the small gap between their bodies. Orlando's mouth goes a dry. It seems they are arriving at the party a little late.

Dom makes some hand gestures and Orlando takes the hint and tries to be nonchalant and not stare at them. They don't want everyone's attention on them right now, Maori bodyguards or no. If one of them saw this they probably wouldn't come out the pub with them anymore. Dom drags Orlando into the nearby corner and whispers harshly at him, "Now what do we do? I really don't want to go over there and peel them away from each other."

"I don't know. If they get caught it could be bad. This is at the very least indecent exposure."

"And at the very best, a likely segue into a drunken foursome tonight, so what do we do?!" Orlando's imagination takes that and runs with it for a second and then comes back like an excited dog with a bone.

Orlando glances at the two red-faced panting hobbits in the fits of carnal knowledge with dozens of people all around blessedly ignoring them for the moment. "We could....watch?"

Dom blinks, then leans over to take another look at the display behind Orlando's back. Dom licks his lips and then startles Orlando with a gentle pat to his crotch. "You are so getting some of that when we get home." Orlando grins.

They end up playing the part of a privacy screen for the last few minutes - it doesn't take them long - standing roughly between Bill and Elijah and the rest of the crowd, looking up into the rigging of the dance floor lights and having a thoughtful conversation about the functions of the smoke machines and the relative skill of the DJ. They point into the lighting rigs and are gratified to see a few heads turn briefly in their direction, and then immediately into the lights as well, away from the snogging hobbits. They make effective deflectors of themselves.

Orlando glances back at them and they are slumped against each other catching their breath. He tugs Dom's shirt and they move in.

"You know you two might like to get a room," Dom says smugly. "Though that was kinda hot."

Orlando grins and winks at Bill who still looks flabbergasted, on the verge of mortification now that he knows they were being watched. "Don't worry Boyd," Orlando says. "You can watch me and Dom tonight."


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