Title: Not Fun
ORIGINAL STORY: Untitled by spillingvelvet_
PAIRING: Orlijah
SUMMARY: Lots of things aren't fun. Thankfully, some of them have unexpected benefits.

Disclaimer: The author makes no claims or inferences to reality or truthfulness. Moreover, this story is based upon the work of another author and recognises their creation.

Breaking ribs? Not fun. I get it. But neither is having to listen to your friend-who-is-a-boy-but-isn't-anything-more-only-maybe-with-a-little-snogging-sometimes whinge at you constantly for two days. Not even the gob of ear glue that's stuck where the makeup girl missed it can adequately blunt out the special, breathy whine that can only be accomplished with trained breathing and just enough pain killers to lower your inhibitions. At least, I'm pretty sure that that's what the combination is, because for all that you'd rather die than admit it, I know that you can sing.

That all of the whiny, silly, none-too-bright stuff is just an act, just like the accent - we're all actors too, and even I, the young American one? Don't buy it for a minute. You're the one with the degree, with the head on his shoulders, and- And I really wish that you could admit that you've got it alright. Because I'm definitely not babes.

But it does help that I know that you're entirely too stoned on painkillers to do anything about it, when I crawl up your body naked - Naked! For the first time in the history of ever, especially with you, who continue to be a boy, no matter how fucking beautiful you might be - and whisper against your lips. "I'm not a horse."

And my name isn't babes, either.